Why Staying Motivated Isn’t the Secret to Changing Your Life

Let’s talk about motivation for a second because motivation gets way too much credit.

Everywhere you look, someone is telling you to stay motivated. Protect your motivation like it’s some rare, magical resource.

And if you’ve ever thought, “Cool… but what if I just don’t feel motivated today?” then congrats…you’re human!

In this episode we are going to chat about why staying motivated is not the secret to changing your life. That way you can stop beating yourself up when you ‘fall off’ and start making real change happen in your life.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Manifest SHE Vision Lab

Chapters

• 0:00 Rethinking Motivation
• 2:10 Motivation As A Mood, Not A Strategy
• 5:20 Belief Versus Behavior
• 8:30 The 95% Mindset Advantage
• 12:00 Leading With Belief Through Hard Times
• 15:30 From Motivation To Alignment

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hi, and welcome back to the Manifest Sheet Podcast. This is a podcast where we get real about changing our lives using our mindset to manifest our dreams. So there are things that we live in our daily life day to day. And I want to talk about motivation for a second, especially this week, because with everything happening in the US, where I am located, motivation is very low. And motivation gets way too much credit when it comes to how do we change our lives? Because outside life happens and our motivation can go up and down. But everywhere you look, someone is telling you to stay motivated, get motivated, find your motivation, protect your motivation. Like it's this magical resource. And if you ever thought, well, cool, but I just don't feel motivated today. Because I know for a lot of us, we don't feel motivated in our country right now. That's completely normal and natural. And it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with us. It means that we're human. And staying motivated truly is not the secret to changing your life. And honestly, relying on motivation is one of the fastest ways to burn yourself out. It's one of the fastest ways to disregard yourself as a whole, is by trying to do this force of motivation because it's really not a strategy, it's a mood. Motivation's a feeling, and our feelings change. Because when you're excited, then you're motivated. That's when life is feeling lighter, right? And things are feeling exciting, and there's this feeling of motivation. But then things happen and life happens, and it may not be so fun. Life life, really. And instead of motivation being something that drives you forward, if you're trying to force it, it becomes something that's exhausting you. And it doesn't matter if it's what's going on today or if things are, you know, it's something else, right? When life does life, whether that's some kind of stress, it's your kids, it's your work, it's money, anything, any kind of emotion, then motivation packs up and it leaves because it itself is a feeling. And our feelings ebb and flow. And we don't ignore our feelings to change our lives and try to force feelings. You can't change your plan and change your entire life being dependent on the feeling of motivation always being there. Because then what you're trying to build, what you're trying to do, your direction in life is going to become unstable. Because we're not always happy all the time, we're not always angry all the time, we're not always excited all the time, we're not always sad all the time, right? Those emotions go up and down. And motivation being an emotion is the same thing. So if that's what you think is the secret ticket to changing your life, that's when it becomes unstable and rocky instead. That's why a lot of times you'll hear yourself being like, well, I was doing so good and then I fell off, or I just need to get my motivation back, or I don't know why I can't stay consistent. And it's not because you suck at being motivated, because motivation was never meant to carry the weight of real change. And I must say this when people talk about changing your life or going on a different path or making your life better, it usually focuses on behavior. Do the habit, stick to a routine, just be disciplined. But what nobody explains, nobody gets into, is that when the belief underneath has not changed, the behavior then feels like an effort. And when your behavior feels like an effort, like you have to push it, that's misalignment because you're asking yourself to act like a version of you that your subconscious hasn't even begun to embrace yet. So of course it's going to feel heavy. And of course, you're going to need that feeling of motivation because you're going to have to constantly talk yourself into things using willpower alone. And that's really the issue because you can't make willpower be what you fall back on. And you have to will yourself into motivation because, once again, an emotion that comes and goes, it's a belief issue. It's not a motivation issue. The thing that is actually going to change your behavior without the motivation is when you change the belief, because behavior doesn't need motivation. I want you to think about what you do in your day-to-day life, just going through life. It doesn't need motivation. Do you need that motivation to, you know, do your hair the way you do your hair, or does it just happen because that's just a behavior and that's just how you do it? It doesn't need that motivation factor because it just makes sense to you. How you hold, like how I hold my hair dryer, how I split my hair up, it just makes sense to me. I don't have to have motivation to put my hair in four quadrants and blow dry it the way I blow dry it. Okay. So you don't need motivation to do things that feel normal to you. You don't need motivation to act in ways that match who you believe you are. Once again, your day-to-day. Do you need motivation for how you brush your teeth? Do you hype yourself up to answer the phone? Do you need a pep talk to do things that already feel true and good to you? No. And that's how belief works, because when you believe in something, your thoughts shift without effort, your emotions are going to settle naturally, and your actions follow without drama, without push, without trying to pull yourself. And that's why habits can a lot of times backfire on us. Because when you force habits before you change your beliefs, or you're trying to force habits and you're not even attempting to look at the beliefs, then you teach your brain that growth equals struggle and sacrifice and harm. And then your subconscious mind is like, yeah, let's avoid that at all costs. So then that's when you get paralyzed and you stop. But then there's this little voice that makes you feel bad, and then you blame motivation again, or you blame yourself, and you're never making progress, and you're just stuck in this pattern because you're looking at habits and forcing yourself through 5%. We talk about the 95% and the 5%. So in Manifest Shi, we work with the 95%, which is the belief system. The 5% is where you're going to find that motivation. And trying to change your life with the 5% conscious mind is always going to feel like an uphill battle because 95% of your mind is doing something to the contrary. It's not that you don't want it, it's that you're trying to change your life from the outside with the 5% and the perfect conditions, and they don't exist. As we can see right now, the perfect conditions do not exist. If I was relying on motivation alone and that good feel good feeling of being motivated because it's exciting, I wouldn't be talking to you today because I wouldn't have talked to you months ago. I wouldn't be anywhere I am in life because things happen all throughout life, both personally and collectively, that just suck, that are horrific. So if we want to change our lives, it's not about, and I just want to be very clear on this, it's not about ignoring what's happening in the world. It's about not relying on being motivated to keep going. That's what it's about. It's about a belief. Like I firmly believe that women should continue to be building their businesses, their lives, and changing the world to leave it better than when we found it. I believe that through and through. And that we shouldn't let outside forces paralyze us to staying stuck. That's what I believe. So that's why I'm on this podcast today. That's why I don't need the motivation to make it, because I truly believe the world needs more female voices, more females in positions of leadership. And we have to be able to change our lives to do that. And mindset is a big, big part of that. That 95% part that we work with with our beliefs, and that's what I believe. So I don't need motivation to show up here every week, regardless of what's going on outside of me, because that's what I believe through and through. I don't have to fight against myself for that. So instead of asking yourself, how do I stay motivated? How do I keep going? Ask, what would I have to believe for this to feel natural, no matter what moment in time I find myself in. Because once the belief shifts, the motivation is optional. You don't have to convince yourself or fight yourself. And you stop starting over and you stop being stuck. And this kind of changes a little bit quieter, but it's more steady, it's less dramatic, and it's way more stable in this life. And that's why when you're trying to manifest, you don't have to rely on motivation. You don't have to do it by trying harder and by fighting through. You're just someone whose inner world starts to match what they want and you flow that way because your belief is leading. And you built that belief with your thoughts, your emotions, and microactions that become naturally matching to those thoughts and emotions. And motivation just fades out of the equation. And that's not to say you'll never feel motivated. You will. And that can give you a clue into new desires that you may want in your life. But you don't use that motivation as your direction. You use the motivation to say, if all hell broke loose tomorrow, what would I need to believe to keep moving towards this desire, this goal, this idea that I have that has made me feel so excited that I'm motivated to move toward it? That's what we work on inside the Vision Lab with Manifest Shi. We work on the 95%. We work on tagging our feelings and understanding them to understand, cool, this is what I want. Now, what do I need to believe to get it? Okay, how do I build that belief in a way that is natural and it's sustainable? That's the work that we do. Because once you believe it, you can flow through life with it. And what you believe is what you experience in your personal reality. And there are layers to reality, and we talk about that as well inside the vision lab and what those layers are. Because I also do want to be clear when we're talking about creating our reality, changing our lives. I'm talking about your day-to-day life, not the entire world, because everybody creates their own reality and you're not isolated in this world, and you're bound to bump into somebody who sees things and perceives things differently than you do. But you can work on your day-to-day. That's what we focus on in the Vision Lab, but we don't ignore everything else. Once again, we don't ignore what's going on, but we use our beliefs so that we don't get paralyzed. So if you've been beating yourself up, especially right now at the beginning of the year, because you're not motivated, because shit's hitting the fan all over the place, don't. Don't beat yourself up. Because you don't have to rely on the feeling of motivation. It doesn't mean that you've somehow failed. It just means that we have been taught that motivation and discipline are the only ways to change our lives because it, you know, for some reason it has to be hard. We've been taught it has to be hard. And it doesn't. We can do it through our beliefs. We change our belief, the behavior catches up, and then you will notice how little motivation you actually need. So with everything that's going on right now, I want you to take a moment to breathe. And also please don't go beating yourself up because you're like, damn, I don't have the belief yet, and that's why I'm feeling stuck and frozen and paralyzed. We don't beat ourselves up here. We just take new knowledge. And maybe this is new for you today that it's not all about motivation. We just take the new knowledge that we have and we apply it. That's it. There is no shame here. I don't, I don't like that. I think it's wrong. And so I'm sure for those of you who've been listening for a while now, and I love you guys, but even if you're new, you'll know I say all the time if you have a limiting belief, no big deal. It's just something that doesn't serve you anymore, it doesn't mean anything's wrong with you. If you're just learning now that motivation isn't the secret to success, that's okay. Just learning something new, we're moving on. We're not beating ourselves up. Now is not the time to beat ourselves up. Let's not love on ourselves. And let's let go of this idea that the only way to be successful in any area of life is to have unwavering motivation. It's a feeling. It can guide you, it can tell you what your next move is, but it's not what's going to carry you there. So keep tuning in because we talk about what carries us there. And if you want to go deep into this work, you can join the Manifest She Vision Lab. I will link it in the show description. It is there for you. You can join at any time. I am adding more and more to it every day. So right now it's about halfway uploaded because this is all of the workshops and work that I've done in real life or with private one-on-one clients, and I'm slowly building it into the Vision Labs. So you can get in right now at a discount while I'm building it, and then you'll have all of the access to it as it's completed. So I'm putting more and more into it every single week uploading. But I didn't want to hold off until it was completely done because for those who are ready to get started, you can get started today. So you don't have to wait. Because as you're getting started, I'm putting more in there so that you're able to continue. But you don't have to wait, you can get in today. The link is down in the show description. So make sure you check that out. If you're ready to learn how to use beliefs to naturally move you to your next level and your desires without just having to rely on motivation alone, I love you. Stay safe out there, stay warm out there with these big storms that have come through. And I'll chat with you next week.