Knowing How to Change Your Life Is Easy if You Understand Your Mind

Changing your life feels impossible when you don’t understand how your mind actually works, and shockingly simple once you do. This episode breaks down the real science behind belief change and why the right affirmation isn’t just a sentence… it’s the first step in rewiring your brain.

You’ll explore how your thoughts, emotions, and actions work together to create new neural pathways, why your mind clings to old beliefs even when you’re ready for something better, and what has to happen in your brain before any lasting transformation can take place.

If you’ve been doing the mindset work and wondering, “Why isn’t this changing my life yet?” this episode gives you the clarity you’ve been missing. Understanding your mind is the key to changing your reality, and once you know why the process works, you stop doubting it and start trusting yourself.

Grab the Free Custom Affirmation Generator

How to Set Intentions, so you get what you want mini-lessons:

➡️Goal-Setting

➡️Wishful Thinking

➡️Manifesting

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Myth Busting
• 1:41 Why Affirmations Often Fail
• 2:47 Neural Pathways And The Trail Metaphor
• 5:23 Confirmation Bias Shapes Experience
• 7:15 Thoughts, Emotions, Actions Working Together
• 10:00 Rewriting Money Beliefs In Practice
• 12:10 Micro Shifts And Emotional Anchors
• 14:10 Timing, Safety, And Realistic Goals
• 16:10 Weekly Practice And What Comes Next

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Hey, my loves, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're here. If you are new, I am Shannon, and this space is all about manifesting from the inside out, which means no forcing, pretending, and definitely no skipping the deep stuff. Just real conversations to help you live the life that your soul already knows is yours. Today we're gonna continue on our conversation from last week. And I'm gonna bring some stuff together for you because there's this little myth or pressure, maybe misconception in personal development that when you go to change your life, it has to take some massive effort or hustle, anything that's like a complete overhaul. When honestly, the truth is almost boring in comparison to that. You change your life when you understand how your mind works. Because once you understand that, then everything gets easier. So last week, when we were talking about affirmations and why they haven't been working for you, we got into what to do to make them work and how the right affirmation isn't about just repeating a desire and trying to force it through words by saying, you know, I'm rich, I'm rich, I'm rich over and over again. But it was really about shifting your belief system. So now that you have the right affirmation, because I know you want to get that custom affirmation generator at the end of the show, if you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll put it in the show notes again this week. But you got the custom affirmation generator. So now you have the right affirmation. You have the right words, the ones that speak directly to the resistance instead of dancing around it. So then the next question becomes does this new affirmation actually change anything? And today is the why it works episode that I want to give to you because we're gonna get into the neural reality behind actual transformation. What's going on in our brain that explains how believing something new literally changes your life experience? Because if you're anything like me, you don't just want someone to say, oh, honey, trust the process. You want to know why. You want to know the evidence, you want to know the internal logic so your brain can relax and go, oh, okay, that makes sense. I can do this, I can make this work. So grab your favorite drink, cozy up, and let's get all into what is literally happening inside your brain that is creating your reality. So, first and foremost, and we have talked about this before, your brain is not sitting up here trying to sabotage you, right? It's not whispering, hey, let's make her life miserable today. It's doing something way more predictable, and it's because it's trying to conserve energy. Your brain loves patterns because patterns don't take much effort. And when we're talking about changing our lives, we really want to do it with the least amount of effort as possible. And your brain, it wants to do that too. So once a belief forms, especially one that's rooted in emotional and repetition and survival, your brain is just building a neural pathway around that. Okay, that's how it starts to make things easy. So I want you to think of your neuropathways as well-worn hiking trails. You've walked it a thousand times, they're familiar, it's automatic to you. Your brain knows these trails by heart. So it's easy. So if you have a belief then that money equals pressure, your brain has a whole trail network built around that idea with memories and emotional experiences and habits and reactions and instincts. And it's gonna stay on the trail. That's easy, whether you like it or not. Changing that belief doesn't happen though, because you chant new words, right? Because you're probably like, okay, but I want the opposite to be just as easy. That's where mindset comes in. That's what we work on. We talked about a little bit last week, but what we're really talking about and going into depth this week is that the chanting of the words is not what changes it, right? It changes because you start walking a different trail in your mind. You're using those words to walk a different trail. And you're gonna do it often enough so that your brain then goes, oh, okay, this one again, fine, fine, fine. I'll make this the new default, I'll make it the new easy, the new pattern, the new predictable. And that's neuroplasticity. That's your brain's ability to reorganize itself based on what you repeatedly think, feel, and do. I'm gonna say that one more time. Repeatedly think, feel, and do. That's why the affirmation matters. The one that works for you, the one that was built for you, the one you crafted last week that you're shifting to believing now. And because it's not a wish, it's a trail marker pointing your brain in a new direction because all of our brains are unique. All of our beliefs are unique. We may have common ideas or common beliefs about certain things, but they're all programmed into our way in a very unique little way. They all have some sort of unique meaning to us. And that's why you need to have the affirmation that is personalized specifically to your brain, to the new path that your brain needs to make. And that becomes your trail marker that says, go that away. Now, if you haven't listened to the episode I did on confirmation bias, I'll put that down in the show description as well, because I'm gonna need you to save it and listen to it later today as well. Because it's kind of a companion to this whole conversation when we're talking about how our beliefs create our reality, because what you believe is what you experience and how confirmation bias works is exactly why that is. But the shortest version of it is that your brain loves to prove your beliefs right. So if you believe that some new opportunity is gonna overwhelm you, then your brain's gonna find that evidence. If you believe people are never gonna support you, your brain is gonna highlight every single moment that you feel alone. If you believe money only comes with burnout, every time you feel stressed, your brain's gonna say, see, I mean, I told you, you know, you can't handle more. You experience your beliefs before you experience your results. So when we take the affirmation to shift, we're gonna target belief. That's why we're not targeting desire. You're just adjusting the filter that your entire reality is running through. So I want you to think of your beliefs as the filter of your reality. And that's why understanding this matters so much because once you understand it and it's not so ambiguous or like confusing, then it makes sense. And then you're like, oh shit, I can do this. Okay, cool. I'm built for this instead of feeling like, oh, I'm not built for this. Like I had a conversation with somebody one time who was like, I'm just trying to really manifest that more positivity to have that positivity. And I'm like, who's turned you wrong on that, honey? Like the point of manifesting and mindset work and using our minds to create our reality so we don't have to put in a shit ton of effort, is not to work harder, to think positive constantly. It's to shift our beliefs. Think about your conscious mind when you're trying to do new things, when you're trying to think new things, learn new things. It takes a lot of effort. Like driving a car. Because this year I taught my son how to drive. That was some kind of experience for both he and I. And at first it was really hard. The more he did it, the more it became automatic. Yay, he got his license. He's out there doing the thing. I always like to use that as an example because, for the most part, all of us have learned how to drive. I can do it automatically. But at first, no, because the conscious effort is the effort. It takes so much more effort. But once we can get it into our subconscious, once we create those neural pathways to those patterns, then it becomes automatic and easy and effortless. That's what we want for our beliefs to take that affirmation. And now it's just back in there and that subconscious doing its thing without the effort. So, how are we changing our belief? How are we building this new neural pathway strong enough so that your brain is gonna choose it automatically so that you can lazy girl do it? Because, right, we all want to be lazy girl abundant. I don't know about you, but I want lazy girl money. I don't want to have to work all the time.

SPEAKER_00: 8:50

And I've gotten very far into that in my journey because I don't want money to mean effort.

SPEAKER_01: 8:57

I want money to equal living my life and doing the things I love to do when it comes to abundance. We all want that, whether it's our career, our relationships, we want it to be easy. When we have a strong neural pathway, it does become easy because our brain chooses the easy that happens through your thoughts, emotions, and actions to build that new filter, to build in that ease. What does ease mean? It means that your subconscious doesn't want to put out a whole lot of energy. So it stores a neural pathway to make it easy. That's what it means. That's the life of ease. It's that you don't have to put as much conscious effort into stuff because it's programmed into just how life is for you. Because your thoughts are now gonna feed this pathway, this new pathway, right? And then your emotions are gonna give an intensity, and your actions are gonna prove to your brain that the belief is just how we operate. Like that's just how it is. That's just what we do. This is what's all going on inside your brain. This is why belief work isn't mental only or emotional only or action only. It is a combination. And I think that's where a lot of us get steered off course. The affirmation is mental, it's the thought, it's the word, but we have to pair it with an emotion. And we have to also pair it with action, and they all have to match and combine. That's how your brain is gonna rewire the fastest to get it back there in that subconscious where you want it to be. It's when all of those things are moving in the same direction, even if it's tiny. And that's why we don't have to make this humongous overhaul in our life. That's why we don't have to force ourselves to think positive 24-7. We just have to align our thoughts, emotions, and actions in the same direction, even if it's a few minutes a day, you're creating the pathway. I always like to say it like this. When you were growing up and you learned this like limiting belief that kind of makes it seem like money is hard, what is something your parents may have said to you? Money doesn't grow on trees. What does that tell you? That money isn't readily available. It's not just out there growing, right? It money is not something that's easily accessible. Well, your parents didn't walk around and say to you, money doesn't grow on trees, money doesn't grow on trees, money doesn't grow on trees, money doesn't grow on trees. They didn't tell you to think about that 24 hours a day, seven days a week until you finally got it through your thick skull that money doesn't grow on trees. That's not how you got that belief. How did you get that belief? How did it become embedded? It became embedded through repetition over time when you wanted something and you had the feeling of wanting it and you asked for it, and your parents said money didn't grow on trees, and then your emotions got crushed. Oh, money's so far away, and your actions were that you just gave up asking. And eventually that belief just stuck there. But now you can rewire your belief faster, right? You don't have to do it over years and years and years of asking your parents for that new toy that you saw on the commercial in between your cartoons. Now that you know how it works, you can speed up the process by intentionally engaging your thoughts, emotions, and actions, but it doesn't mean you have to do it constantly for the new belief to land. So I hope that frees you up a little bit today. I'm not saying it doesn't take work. I'm not saying it doesn't take some time, but it doesn't have to take years if you understand that this is what it does when we get our thoughts, emotions, and actions on the same page. It takes those trails that are well worn and it shifts you to making a new trail to become automatic. So your subconsciousness does it for you. Let's talk about your thoughts. Your affirmation gives your brain a new pattern to consider. Here, consider this. That affirmation you made, Nick, last week, you're telling your brain, well, why don't we consider this? They're the spark, it's an invitation. But that thought alone isn't creating your pathway. It's the creating of the awareness. It's saying, here is an alternative to, oh, money doesn't grow on trees, to money is readily available. There's an alternative option here. Let's consider it. Then you have these emotions, and that's the glue. Your brain is paying attention to what you feel, not what you recite. If your brain totally paid attention to what you recited, you would never have to write anything down on a sticky note to remember it because it would just boom, automatically be there. There would be no post-it note industry, okay? So it's gonna pay attention to what you feel. Think about when your parents told you money doesn't grow on trees, how you felt knowing you weren't gonna get that toy because money is not available for the toy. It's a feeling that pairs with that consideration. And that's why your affirmation has to feel grounded and it has to stretch you but not snap you. Tiny emotional shifts tell your brain, hey, hello, this feels better than the old way. Oh, this feels so good. And that emotional connection begins to strengthen that new pathway. Then your actions are your proof. So we say, oh, collect evidence, collect evidence. And you're like, how am I collecting evidence? I'm still living paycheck to paycheck. Money's still kind of hard to come by. Where's the evidence of the new money? Remember that you experience the belief before you experience the results. And so you have to put action as your proof, a small choice that matches the new belief. So that looks like resting when you used to push. It looks like accepting help when you used to do everything alone. Now, going back to the money doesn't grow on trees. The action could be not freaking out when you see something you want, but your bank account doesn't match yet. That could be the proof. Oh, I'm coming for you. Because everything comes to me easily, right? It's not about money doesn't grow on trees. Oh my gosh, I'm so glad I saw you designer purse. Uh, side note here, I'm not a purse girly, so I'm just making up shit when it comes to designer stuff. I don't know. You may want that. A lot of the girls I know are purse girlies. Okay, but here, I'm glad you showed me that this is available. I'm coming back for you. Instead of, oh man, that shit's so cute. I'm never gonna be able to afford that because money don't grow on trees. So the action is the proof and your reaction and your behavior. A lot of times we think when we're putting action with the thoughts and emotions, it means going and buying that purse that I technically cannot afford right now because my bank account's not there yet, and putting myself into debt so I can show myself that I'm wealthy. That that's not it. How is your behavior changing your thoughts, your emotions, your actions? Are you looking at the purse and being, you know, feeling disheartened? Or are you looking at it and being like, oh crap, awesome?

SPEAKER_00: 16:19

I'm glad I saw this. Cause now I know what I'm gonna spend my money on, or what I would like to spend my money on, and how you approach it, and how you think about it.

SPEAKER_01: 16:32

Every small choice you make to match your new belief matters, whether it is a reaction or your intention, remember that affirmation's bringing you that awareness, your thoughts are opening the door, your emotions are anchoring it, and your actions are locking it in. And that is how your mind changes your life, not through force, but repetition and safety and micro shifts. That's why after you developed your kick-ass affirmation last week, I told you that you had to embody it. Because you can't stop at words. And I said, We're just gonna make a small shift by asking, what can I do to live this affirmation today? It's a start. And now that you know why it matters so much, because it isn't just a group of words strung together, but it's your blueprint, your guide, your GPS, your step-by-step. I mean, you can call it what you want it. But that affirmation serves as how to embody the new belief or the experience that you want. It guides your thoughts, it guides your emotions, it guides your actions to line up with it. If you keep gently introducing the new idea, the belief that supports the desire, your brain's gonna start to ease into it. It's gonna get used to it. Oh my gosh, guys, when we go into pools, when the season, full season first starts and we put our toe in a little bit, or we're like, oh, I'm just gonna stand here, but I'm not gonna dive all the way in, right? Kind of thing. Same thing. We're just introducing our brain to this new idea. So it's like walking through tall grass again and again until the dart starts to pack down under your feet. And that's really neuroplasticity in action. That is your brain in action. You experience what you believe, you build a new belief. And let me just interject here, and I really wasn't gonna talk about this, but Shannon, how long does this shit take? Three weeks to longer. It just depends. And here's where people get tripped up. Stop saying you want to go from paycheck to paycheck to millionaire status. That would be phenomenal. But your brain and your nervous system aren't there. Guide yourself there. You're just building, building, building. Honestly, make a foundation. Let's not get stuck in something that is so unbelievable it stays stuck in wishful thinking. I did a whole series, it's on Instagram, it's on TikTok about goal setting, wishful thinking, and manifesting. Just check that out, and that'll kind of explain to you what I'm talking about here. Okay. But you can put neuroplasticity in action. And I'll link those videos too in the show description. This is the moment you start to shift your life. This is when your brain clicks to you and everything's different without you trying. Why? Because it's just following the patterns, the new patterns. That's the life you want. That's the change you want. That's the ease that you're looking for. So next week we'll go into the how. Like, truly, what does that mean? What do you mean when you say thoughts, emotions, actions? How to integrate that with your affirmation, the part where we plug everything in together and start to rewire. But I felt like you needed this conversation today first. Because if you don't understand what is happening in your brain, then you doubt the process every time when you don't have instant change. When you understand why, you stop rushing how. You stop thinking something. Something is wrong with you, you stop thinking maybe my desire is unrealistic, or maybe that like this mindset shit is just luck or magic. Remember, we do repeatable, not luck or magic around here. So you start to understand that your brain is programmable and how to do the programs. And now that you know why, and you have the right affirmation, I want you to spend this week letting your brain still get familiar with that beautiful affirmation that you created last week with the generator. Not to force it, and you're not micromanaging your thoughts and going crazy about it. Just gently reminding yourself this is the direction we're walking in now. Let that old trail start to get a little overgrown and start forming the new one. And we're going to turn talk about that in depth and in detail about walking that new path next week. I'll see you then.